But still, the feelings of letting go, the feelings of when i can say 'phew'-ing, does not come. This way i feel really sad and pressure.
Actually, i feel this hard because since after raya holiday i dint pick up the phone from the bossy one. Cuz, whenever I hear her say something, I felt deeply mad (becoz shes so bossy after all) but I cant express it. I hate the way myself cant express feeling. And, when I feel like all the burden is on me, I felt like really fed up of facing them, my hopeless groupmates.
Until the presentation, they really gelabah because I did not give them even a slight information regarding what we are presenting. This is because I burnt the night to finish up the last piece and I work like hell to print out the assignment. Last minutes thing girl rite? Since, i give all out: my money and strength and times, So i dont really have money to terhegeh2 again and anymore to follow up with them.
At that time, i feel really fed up. I felt like i've done my part and my best, but others are ignoring. They actually bullying me!
But, after some muhasabah, I sit back. And think. Actually, I am the one who let myself to be treated like that. Actually I am the one who bullying myself for not being fair to them, by not letting them know what they SHOULD know from this searching. I am the one who troublesome here. I felt deeply sad for not realizing that I am bad at heart, letting the feelings of fed up and angry to sabotage me.
I felt bad for being a coward. Scare to death to even spoke out a word. Later, they will complain this to the lecturer. And. And? For sure I am the defendant.
The best part is, the seniors in the class giving me the big challenges by asking a lot of questions. maybe because they want to give back to me the feelings of being asked in crowd: Because I always ASK in class. And, the truth is, maybe the presentation is boring and unorganized.
It Is The Worst of Times, right? one day I will be thanking this worst by giving me the best.
7 komen best:
nora.... my dearest 2nd cousin.
i don'y like it when someone bullying you.
do you want me to go uum now to kick all your groupmates ass?
i hate this thing. nora, please dont let anyone bully u anymore.
otherwise, u know right, I used to be the most fierce man in our family...
my advice for you is, learn how to be a good leader.
good luck, future leader.
sabarlah dengan setiap dugaan yang dihadapi, doa banyak2 kepada Allah semoga setiap urusan dipermudahkan...
@cik amirul;
Terima kasih atas doanya, semoga dirahmati Allah :)
@amy:
please do. and, thanks for always being so supportive :)
"do you know what's worth fighting for, when its not worth dying for?"
thats my song after all.. it does motivate u right?
thats my song, it does motivate u right..
@amy:
yup: obviously meaningful to me.. since the lyrics tell me that actually what i am arguing for is not a big deal after all..
thanks, coz :)
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