While you are the constant factor..

Everything else changed.

Long ago I knew that world does not evolved around me.
Thus what I did for my life was NOT an escape plan. It was Planned Carefully just in case I met my other half on the way.

You were never once in my plan. You MAY be the one i meet on my way but this journey wasn't plan because you hurt me.

This path I made is because I am reclaiming myself, depending to only Allah and not anybody.

This path is indeed lonely and long journey but I am glad I made it without you & you leave me in early stage of my life..so that in later life i did not regret anything because I dont want you take so much space in my life.

You are not here, is my constant factor.

TALL

I am in my high times when cargoes are over height it cannot go under the bridge

This is super stressing and almost killing meeeeeeee

OMA. Please help us upon this trials..

Happy Birthday ibu tersayang!

Listening to Sara Bareilles - She Used to Be Mine

Lagu ni mengingatkan bahawa saya sebenarnya sangat merindui keceriaan ibu saya.
Sesuatu yang Allah ambil, throughout this battles of her wrecking, heart-breaking marriage

Siapa sangka akan diuji pada usia yang orang lain sibuk mengemaskan diri menuju umrah dan haji.

Iyalah mungkin orang lain diuji sakit dan miskin. Tapi ibu abah diuji dengan cara yang berbeza.

Well semalam hari ulangtahun ibu yang ke 60. Lama sudah tak nampak ibu ceria, semoga ibu bahagia dengan apa yang kami rancangkan.

She's 60 now. I have to keep a lot of tolerance for her.
I will stop complaining and start growing care and loves for her.

Theres reason for every rejection

To think that I am master at rejecting.. is true

Maybe my rejection was solely because of me, not because of that person.
Maybe its something else.

I feel delighted for rejecting some people because as life goes on, I see how those guys treat their wife. Some didn't give full commitment to their wife's life, super self centered - and some others didn't give attention to what they want in life, keep changing direction & does not know what he really want in life.

I do not want to live my life with someone who don't know what hes doing to his own life.
If people ask me whether I'm choosy, YES I'm choosy as hell.
But the person I choose never choose me back - kesian.

This post does not about how I didnt open up. I did open up but not too much, I'm afraid of losing myself in between that process - I hate recollecting myself