By myself

Each and everyday I have to take care of myself.

Life is not about being happy, its about dealing with all the ups and downs, good and bad times.

Today I went sightseeing at Paradigm (again!) after dinner with my officemates for so called gathering. Since this is end of month I am being broke so sightseeing is more than enough.

What I am trying to narrates here is; being by yourself you have lots of options to jump and tossed around, gotta choose everything by yourself. When we were little kids, we dont have to care about everything- we used to be fed and clothed by our parents. We didnt chose expensive attire, classy bags, and yet we were so happy. Its enough that we had enough.

But today I felt a little of deep feelings of sadness- that,.. urm.. Im afford to buy things I like but its not enough of happiness. I have to cloth and feed myself, and I'm not so happy about this.

Yet again, life is not all about happiness, its about dealing with this loneliness, that I have to be reminded that life doesnt evolve around me and me only.

When I start enjoying craziness

Despite of all the hard times at work, theres good times.

Good times when I started to at least happily work and get to know my colleague from all around the globes. My weakness, and my strength too, is that I get indulged to places I set my feet on and people started feeling comfortable to my existence.

Being smart and pure is my strength, I believe that. Even sometimes I am dumb and morons too- but I strive hard to learn and adapt.

I started feeling comfortable at work when I start making profits for shipment I quoted, and challenge myself to quote for oversized which is actually Very Easy.

I am happy that despite all the nasty words thrown at me by OPS, even by big boss, at least my team support me saying that its okay, and I keep going. My boss even fake his nagging to me today, which makes me laugh instead of feeling stupid.

I start gaining strength, and being more firm of a person that those stupid morons around are unable to have me weaken of their action. Sadly, they even pissed off when I laugh or hums, I am not allowed to show my happiness and leisure at work.

They complaints over nuts, thats super pitiful soul.

And I, promise myself that I will stay the whole year unless my boss leave the company or I'm being fired.

Dealing with present tense.

Read: Tekanan Zaman Sekarang.
Hehe.

Saya adalah orang yang membesar dengan hampir sendirian, tanpa ibu abah selalu menemani, dengan kawan yang datang dan pergi. Saya tidak pernah tinggal di suatu tempat dengan begitu lama, kecuali semasa belajar di universiti. Pengembara tegar.

Melalui semua itu, saya lali mengenal orang baru setiap kali, setiap hari, selalu. Menghadapi segala mehnah dan belajar darinya. Dealing with all the crazy people and still standing. Ayah saya atau abang saya tidak pernah mempertahankan saya kerana saya dibuli atau dimarah cikgu.

Jadi, proses ini telah menghasilkan saya yang sekarang, imperfect me.

Saya menuliskan ini kerana zaman FB ini telah menjadikan ibubapa, masyarakat terlalu critisizing, suka berceloteh tapi hasilnya tak ada. Ia juga telah membentuk fenomena dan ketakutan melampau masyarakat kepada sesuatu yg tak sepatutnya, i.e penculikan dan jenayah rambang.

Zaman anak kita zaman yang amat mencabar. Inilah juga apa yang dikatakan bapa bapa kita semasa kita masih anak-anak. Biarkanlah mereka melalui zamannya dengan tekun dan sabar, Jangan terlalu dimanjakan. Kenalkanlah anak2 dengan Allah, dan bertawakkal kepadaNya.

Doa. Yakinlah yang doa bunda itu adalah yang termakbul dan powerful.

Semoga, semasa saya ada anak nanti, Allah jaga dia, kenalkan dia denganNya.

amin.

Distraction

Today I got to attend Konvensyen Halaqah Keluarga, in Masjid Putra, Putrajaya.

I got distracted for 2 things,
1. Little kids, (I cant ignore babies, omo)
2. Another speaker behind me. Its like watching movies and having narrators around. Made me sick!

Kbai