Duka selautan jiwa

Dimana kita letakkan kedukaan kita menggambarkan siapa sebenarnya kita.

Jika duka kita adalah kerana makan minum, cinta, keluarga,.. maka kita mungkin adalah golongan biasa-biasa saja. Normal. Lekeh benau, kata orang melake.

Tapi kalau kesedihan kita kerana lewat solat, buat dosa, sakitkan hati orang lain, itu bagus.. menggambarkan yang hati kita masih hidup, ada iman, dan masih perlu diperbaiki.

Lebih baik kalau kesedihan kita adalah kerana amal-amal yang kita lakukan tak berkualiti, sambil lewa, tak ada nilai. Rugi, rugi, rugi.

Letakkanlah kesedihanmu, Ashikin, pada tempat sebetulnya.

Andai hidup ini ada backwardnya, undo, atau deletion program....... kan bagos!

My Eating disorder

Since deugro moment, I have meal time irregularity.

When I was living with Kak Mai for working with MedicMesir, I always eat on time. Lunch, and dinners. Kak Mai & Kak Lia will cook for dinner and I was only take part in finishing the foods. For Lunch, we will leave office on time at 1pm. Even our boss treat us lunch lotss of time.

Life was a bliss.. hahahaha..

Starting in Kintetsu, I felt strange that salesperson did not befriend each other. They rarely gather for lunch together. They did not taking care of each other, their own team. But still, I managed to stuff myself on time in the afternoon.

When I move to deugro, almost nobody go out for lunch. My lunchmate buddy has resigned last month. My boss did not take lunch with me for having his own diet programs, My senior kak Lily is having knee pain restricting her to move a lot.

I never have eating disorder ever before until I was left heartbroken & wordless, since already a year.

I did not blame anyone for this sickness, it is just me that sometimes I feel its really hard for me to finish my food.

I really feels that I need heartily support. I felt silence depression that I happen to cry sometimes, unreasonably - cause I feel I cant take care of myself well.

Sincerely me, 16th May 2016

Choose your battle

Choose your battlefield, your enemy, your swords, for it defines who you are.

Fight your own battle, for nobody will fight for you

We will die in the chosen battle - Winning or Losing is not for us to determine. Its important for us to know whether we are fighting hard enough, for the correct battle?

Just another day

Happy birthday, a.muksmuks.

You may probably no longer read my blog. Or you never care.

I didnt really remember how was my first birthday present to you.
Back then I was really wanted 4th May to pass faster, every year
Because sometimes I spend the day crying for being unable to call you nor to convey my wishes.

Table May turns.

From now, I decided to made today is just another ordinary days that passes quickly.