I warned Myself

I warned myself a lot.
Not to remember the person from my past

I dont know why lately it feels super hurtful than ever

Why?

Shawn Mendes - Fallin All In You

You are bringing out a different kind of me
There's no safety net that's underneath, I'm free
Falling all in
You fell for men who weren't how they appear
Trapped up on a tightrope now we're here, we're free
Falling all in you

Reminiscing feelings.

Theres few kind of feelings I love as a younger me.

Feeling when my parent still care about me, whether i take proper meal, whether i sleep enough and eat enough.

Feeling nervous and stress about my exams and results.

Feelings when someone i care so much is still there whenever I want to call.

These days, i feel damn lonely o wanna call someone but my friends no longer there for me. Not even my parents.

I feel truly, deeply sad i kept thinking about old days when someone always there to listen to my stories.

Narcisstic vs Introvert

August flies too fast I can't really catch up.

I feel refreshed & came back even better after recollecting myself.
But I think I like me better when I'm not by myself

That was 10 days ago - when I self-reclaim myself from Andi.
(Someone I like for being kind & modest. - I wont mind falling into the same person ever again, because I am what I feel.)

By the way people at my workplace claiming that I am too silence these days - hmmm
I enjoy being by myself. I survived 1.5 years working alone at my desk, on my chair & talking on the phone, going to ports and meeting, all by myself.

Now the big weddings done, and mountain hiking's done. I have to create next resolution to keep me busy and self-driven.

I'm not narcissist & selfish, do i?
Everytime, I have to made myself clear that........this is all going back for Islam & Allah.
That I have to realize I had nothing to offer :(