Unhappy.

Rasa sedih dengan suasana di tempat kerja.

Tak tahu apa yang tak kena.

Aku ke.. orang lain ke..

Ada je benda yang tak best sejak dgn Maersk.

Put aside la semua benefit.

Tapi aku tak happy.

Banyak sangat regulation, banyak sgt sistem, banyak sangat benda nak kena attend. Nampak macam gah di mata org luar konon high standard sangat..

Tapi tak pun.

Buat costing in salah, tak buat lagilah salah.

Negative costing pun kena attack.

Benda seremeh personal objective pun kena pertikai.

I JUST WANT TO DO MY WORK.

Entahla mungkin expectation kat manager skrg pun hampas.. org yg mcm ikut je sistem nak apa. Aku tak happy. Cara dia highlight & attack org pun buat aku tak happy.

Mungkinla dia pun letih penat dgn kerenah birokrasi tapi aku lagi letih tgk dia tak reti pun nak jadi manager, sume benda dari management sekadar forward. Baik takyah forward.

Maybe aku sekadar xdpt terima yg Maxime bukan lagi manager kitorg.

Sabarlah kin.

When recognition goes to the wrong people.

 My work circle is small.

I work in the team of 5 in Malaysia.

Indonesia, 4. Vietnam, 4. Singapore i lost count but operationally 6-8. China each branch around 5. Thailand, 4. Management, maybe 5.

So our every month townhall usually consists of less than 50 people.

We know each other's work like reading a book. We know who work (really work) and who plays, and who only wayang and all talk.

So on yesterday's townhall, someone got award and recognition when I feel that she dont deserves that. Maybe company shouldn't even have that award pun.. because we don't know how they materialize the recognition. That lady dont deserve it. 

And another person's promotion announced as compliance PIC while my colleague Halim is doing all the paperworks and conduct materials for the whole MB team.

I started to think that dirty play is in now in our 'used to be' healthy environment.

Hey Managers. 

You can play favourite but you lost our respect - and this organization will not be last long if this is how you play the game.

I demand transparency!

And you finally arrived

Dear you.

Yesterday my friend asked, "why you".

I said,

"Because you reassure me that we will work in this together. You are hopeful, full of effort, a responsible and commited person".

And theres one thing unexplainable about you.

Before I met you, I have some fear of marriage or serious relationship. Either I am never enough for him or he never enough for me.. no matter how well off he is or from good family background, I always find them lacking to be my spouse.

But with you I feel just fine. Just enough. Everything fits. 

You fit into the definiton said in the qur'an,

“They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.” [2:187]

Let us protect each other, beautify each other, covers each other and be comfortable in each other company. 

Towards eternity,

Terima kasih kerana memecahkan belenggu kesepian diri ini dan membuktikan bahawa manusia sebenarnya memang dijadikan berpasang-pasangan.

Truly yours,

Nora.

Ramadan ini dan kematian seorang ibunda yang indah.

 Beberapa hari di awal ramadan, isteri kepada sepupu kami Hairul iaitu kak Alin kematian ibundanya..

Kak Lin ni dia dua beradik je.. abang dia n dia. Kenal dia sejak dia kahwin dengan Abg Hairul, terasa lebih mesra dan rapat dengan family auntie Esah sejak diorg kahwin, sebab kak Alin mesra orangnya.

Arwah mak kakLin ni dia mualaf. Pernah jumpa beberapa kali je.. masa kaklin kahwin, masa kenduri aqiqah anak, masa ziarah baby, masa majlis hari raya, dan masa hari kematiannya.

Terasa ruh ketenangan masa ziarah kematian dia.

Dia meninggal seusai beberapa minit kaklin habis solat subuh. Urusan mandi jenazah, kafan dan solat jenazah, pengebumian selesai sebelum pukul 1. Solat jenazah 12.15 pm, jenazah dalam liang usai tanam pukul 12.45pm.

Rasa macam mudahnya urusan dia.

"I want my death to be like that, too."  At least that was what I think.

And seeing kak Lin crying in front of her dead mother made me want to fly home to kiss my mother countless of time. Kak Lin and her brother was so kind to each other and to their mother. 

My friend who had her mum passed once said, when our parent passed away, we are dying to even hear their breath, do anything for them and to quarrel with them, pleases them, and even to hear them babbles about anything. My friend said, "kin, diorang tu hanya nak bercerita je..". Her voice cracked while telling me that still lingering in my mind up to this day.

That thoughts was what made me endure all the tough times with my parents and laugh it off with them when the time passes. 

I always wanted to be a good daughter to my parents. I am always trying to be. I hope I am, I do and will always be.

Maybe people around me think that I am a good child to my parent, but deep inside, it is always a war within me, between what's right and avoiding conflicting situation with parents.

Kak Lin's time with her parents has come to its end. And for me, I have witness such a beautiful bond of parent and child even for such a short time. It has inspired me to do good to my own parents, while knowing our time will not be that long, too. 

Life is short, choose happiness and cherish our hard times - May all of us end up and meet again in paradise.