Happy Birthday ibu tersayang!

Listening to Sara Bareilles - She Used to Be Mine

Lagu ni mengingatkan bahawa saya sebenarnya sangat merindui keceriaan ibu saya.
Sesuatu yang Allah ambil, throughout this battles of her wrecking, heart-breaking marriage

Siapa sangka akan diuji pada usia yang orang lain sibuk mengemaskan diri menuju umrah dan haji.

Iyalah mungkin orang lain diuji sakit dan miskin. Tapi ibu abah diuji dengan cara yang berbeza.

Well semalam hari ulangtahun ibu yang ke 60. Lama sudah tak nampak ibu ceria, semoga ibu bahagia dengan apa yang kami rancangkan.

She's 60 now. I have to keep a lot of tolerance for her.
I will stop complaining and start growing care and loves for her.

Theres reason for every rejection

To think that I am master at rejecting.. is true

Maybe my rejection was solely because of me, not because of that person.
Maybe its something else.

I feel delighted for rejecting some people because as life goes on, I see how those guys treat their wife. Some didn't give full commitment to their wife's life, super self centered - and some others didn't give attention to what they want in life, keep changing direction & does not know what he really want in life.

I do not want to live my life with someone who don't know what hes doing to his own life.
If people ask me whether I'm choosy, YES I'm choosy as hell.
But the person I choose never choose me back - kesian.

This post does not about how I didnt open up. I did open up but not too much, I'm afraid of losing myself in between that process - I hate recollecting myself

Compulsory Reject

Antara skil yang seorang single wajib ada ialah membezakan lelaki baik dan lelaki gatal.

Dan lelaki yang wajib ditolak adalah lelaki yang pakai kopiah, laki orang dan menggunakan ayat-ayat agama untuk kepentingan diri.

I am still looking for it

Theres time recently where I broke down.

I am so tired.
Maybe I'm not busy enough.
I dont know the source of this unhappiness, I dont know

I am just terribly sick.
This headache is killing me.
I am angry everyday, and I didn't vent the anger out, I cant.

To the reader of this blog, thank you for reading.
You give me hope that theres someone who still read my trashy thoughts, the real me.

Well this songs is telling a lot... about how I feel & what I do when I did go to places, songs, movies & stories I ever discussed with some particular person.

You actually never moved on because it is like the ghost in your mind. You can lie to everyone but not yourself.