Tidak ada cinta di Singapura

This post is some rojak, I wanna combine my mixed feelings in this post.


1. Singapore
Its been awhile since I fly to oversea. The last time was in 2014 where I've been sent to Turkey for 3 months!

So this time I've been sent to Singapore for 2 days - for work and for course. Luckily the meeting arranged was cancelled, I need some time to do the permit for the site visit - sooo Singapore *blergh*. If it was meant for meeting in Malaysia, ad-hoc pun xpe.

try to be funny, I told people I am flying to find my other half; cari jodoh.
And going back, I up status " ok dah jom balik, jodoh takde kat sini".


2. Real Crime
I bumped into a car while driving today.. And did not stop.
It was heavy traffic, and raining some more.. The car that I bumped into kinda chase me.
I seems like running away, scared that it is not safe for me to stop. I felt sorry to that driver, and I was redho if I'm being summoned. Its my fault anyway

I believe that car was not so bad, only kemek. And I received a call tonight to make cover report tomorrow afternoon. That driver must be very pissed off.. I'm Sorry, driver.

I will be punished by law, but thats Okay - rather than being alone & something else happened to me.

3. My big appetite
I dont know if I didnt eat enough or I am really having big appetite.
Recently (or since few months ago) I didnt feel full whenever I ate, or I have no appetite at all. I am not someone who is fond of food, but I just need to feed myself.


Thats all. I still feel bad about being a bad driver. :(
This is whyy I want to live nearby workplace so so so badly!

nothing heals the past like time

"But nothing heals the past like time

And they can't steal
The love you're born to find"

The man that I used to love

Some friends and cousins have asked and wonders what my (love) story is like.
I never told them the truth, until only recently, when I feel like ready to open up..

I used to have someone I cherish in my heart, long ago.

I like him, long before I know that that was what called "love", a different kind of feelings than how your parent, families or friends ever gave you.

Yesterday while doing some housekeeping on my old things, I found his letters,..
(well we are indeed can only connected by letters -old fashioned way, huh?)
Made me smile, because he only gave me great memories, only wrote good words, and inspired me to be only better than I was.

Who I am now is the part of what the feelings he made me feel.
We cut connection because he get married, and I accept the bitter truth that we are "takde jodoh".

If he still read my blog, I wanted him to know that I am thankful for his existence, felt sorry for what I ever did and never done, and I still thought of him during my tough time (he was my personal remedy, sokongan yang menjadi kebiasaan).

Reconnecting again may not give us the same feelings like how it was.

And I may never love the same..

Bila kita benar-benar diuji

Saya menuliskan ini, supaya saya ingat bagaimana rasanya teruji.

Ia sememangnya tak mudah.

Secara teorinya kita memang tahu apa nak buat bila diuji dengan sakit, marah, harta benda, keluarga..
Kita kena sabar dan solat. Sujud. Istighfar. Jangan marah

Hakikatnya ia sangatlah susah.

Dalam masa yang sama, kita kena prihatin pula dengan permasalahan orang sekeliling.

Ketika kita diuji, kita akan tahu sama ada kita emosional atau rasional.
Sama ada kita pentingkan diri atau tidak.
Kepada siapa kita bergantung, adakah kita mengharapkan Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa kita atas keterlanjuran kita.

Kalau nak dibanding ujian kita dengan ujian para nabi, apalah sangat ujian kita ni..
Nabi kita Muhammad, adalah orang yang paling banyak senyumnya, begitupun, bagindalah yang paling besar ujiannya..namun masih sangat kuat kasih sayangnya untuk umat..

Memang tak mudah diuji dengan keluarga sendiri. Tapi kin, ingatlah kebesaran Allah, Allah Maha Baik!
Dia takkan menguji hambaNya lebih besar dari kemampuan kita.

we can go through this.

Sabarlah.
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